TONY ABBOTT VS KING MOJO

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

TONY ABBOTT
VS
KING DERELIAS MOJO

BEGIN!!!

ABBOTT
PM against a year 10 short story
couldn’t be more easy
I spit so many liberal rhymes
I make your traitor troops queasy
I’m the suppository of wisdom
And the liber-ator of Australia
Ask me about my future plans
And the answers will amaze-a ya
You’re an expansionist pig
The reason why we stop the boats
And I’d like to see you try and cross our shark infested moats
You have to catch up to the modern war
Well shit happens you know,
And with our housewives doing the ironing,
We’ll bomb you without so much as a warning

MOJO
You don’t know very much
For a man who’s meant to be Prime Minister
You think you’re helping your country
But your stupidity is sinister
Cos all you need is brains
And support of your citizens
But I’m gonna fucking crush you
Like the Liberal Party’s discipline
I inherited my position, that’s true,
But you’re a laugh
Voted in as a joke
And now Australia’s fucked on your behalf
Unlike myself, you will fall
But be remembered for your reign
As the Monarch of memes
And daily facepalm head pains

ABBOTT
…
I have given you
The answer you deserve
Now face the true speaker
And get lyrically served

BISHOP
Get out
You’re old school
Fucking medieval tool
Let your traitors grind you up
Into helicopter fuel
You’re a fool
Can’t mess with the modern day rule
Because everyone knows you’re not in the voting pool
You’re in trouble now Mojo
I’ll rhyme you out of existence
And rip you up
Like the right to my helicopter license
Step up to Speak and you get your butt kicked
Your clíched imperial flows are batshit
There’s another motherfucker
Coming hanging off a chopper
And without your allies to aid you
You’ll be stuck finding a topper

MOJO
Call me Australian
Cos I’m sick of your shit
These brainless politics
Are why a simple monarchy should stick
You got scared of the truth
Cut the ABC’s funding
I overheard your citizens
“aw mate, Abbott’s full muntin”
You must be stoned
Your brain runs like a snail on depressants
You’re as mature as a pouting adolescent
And you Bishop
The religious names, coincidence?
You share in your stupidity
And religion is the source of it
There’s a reason that my Kingdom
Never switched to democracy
In theory a manifestation
In practice a falsity
So get back in your chopper
And fuck off with ABC’s funds
I expect you’ll be voted out soon
So consider this battle done

WHO WON???

WHO'S NEXT???

YOU DECIDE!!!